Thursday, May 28, 2009

may I introduce you?

Ladies and Gentleman, I hope you will not think me fickle. But I probably am. I have much news on the pet front, (when don't I?) and it is my duty to inform you of one things somewhat sad, another . . . cute.

Alas, poor Cowboy, I knew him well. You really get to know a dog when your called out at six every morning to try to get him to shut up. And then there were the impossible escapes. I would have like to see this dog pitted against Mr Houdini. After a miserable final week where nothing short of a rope around his neck would keep him in his kennel, he has left us. He now lives with a nice family who have three girls, and use German commands. When they drove off I heard quite a few Nein! Nein! Nein! 's echoing from the vehicle.
On the flip side, I have acquired a new kitten. (in my defense, yes it was sudden, but Oliver was lonely.) So I asked Letha to take some pictures of the kitten so you gentle people could see her.
I would not have done this if I had realized that she had a bit of the photographer in her. I finally took the camera away when she started talking about swimsuit issues.
Anyway, here are some of the shots. The kittens name is Goggles Mammalian.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

the moment I fell in love with Mr Darcy

It was not his horrible yet endearing proposal.
It was not his first awkward dance with Elizabeth.
It was not even when he defended Lizzy against Miss Bingley's comments, (though I did love that)

It was when, he tried to explain his rudeness, by saying, "I have not the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met."

My heart went out to him then. I totally get that.
I have no problem conversing with people in my head, but in life, people seldom ask or answer as I had planned. (Arthurian legend and EMT skills come so little into most conversations.)
So today, while getting - *the con - from the 1st shift girl I was replacing, I was quite excited to find the conversation going well. I made a few comments, got her to laugh, and then ended the conversation without things trailing off awkwardly. Then she walked away, and I realized my poor brain had been in overdrive trying to converse correctly. I had been thinking things like , establish repore, show interest in her comments, and don't try to hard to be funny.
Sometimes I just laugh at myself.
Poor Mr Darcy. Poor me. We must take Miss Elizabeth's advice and practice.

*Getting the con is a naval term used mostly by the British navy in the 1800's. The sailor who was officer of the watch would tell the officer going on watch what was going on. The guy coming off would yell to whomever cared to listen, "this is Mr. -whateverhisnamewas- Mr. -whatevertheotherguysnamewas- has the con. Then the guy coming on would yell out to no one in particular, This is Mr. -whateverhisnamewas- I have the con. And so the con was passed.

Friday, May 22, 2009

things to do on a summer day . . .

Pick strawberries from your newly planted bed. (two days haul = 7 total, soon you will have strawberry short cake!)

Have a "dream home drawing contest" with your little brother, using sidewalk chalk.
(He states that his house looks more like a sleeping bag and asks to move in with you.)

Decide to refinish your mother's old rocking chair and spend two days applying stripper and scrapping and sanding. Now you get to start on the filling holes and staining and sealing. Yeah!!

Set up the old tent for your little bro (secretly because you want to smell the camping memories trapped in there)
1 promise your younger siblings that you'll camp out if you get a night off work
2 promise your mother that you'll take the tent down before it kills the grass or get wet in the rain.

Oh yeah, summer is great. Wonder what I'll do tomorrow? Oh yeah, filling/staining/sealing.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

there are some moments

I am a cynical person.
I know your shocked.

As such it is my sworn duty to doubt the existence of certain things.

1) True Love

2) True Happiness

3) Truth for the most part

So I am always sarcastically doubtful of those idyllic scenes that I see in movies. I mean, is there really such a thing as a perfect moment? Most of the time I'd say no. But there are some moments, that make me wonder.

Moments like today, when I chased after my five year old brother, as he rode down the sidewalk on his new bike (with training wheels), wearing a monkey backpack and headed to see my dad at the restaurant.

I was walking along, staring at the back of his head, and suddenly I thought of how perfect this moment was. The air was warm, but the shade was cool. We were travelling down a tree lined street. He was happy and laughing, learning to peddle, steer, and watch the sidewalk at the same time.

And at that moment, I couldn't really think of anything I wanted to be doing more.

I guess it was a Hallmark moment.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

the reason I love T H White

His description of a store-room from The Once and Future King will give you an ample idea of his style, and why I love this book.

"It smelt of oatmeal, ham, smoked salmon, dried cod, onions, shark oil, pickled herrings in tubs, hemp, maize, hen's fluff, sailcloth, milk -- the butter was churned there on Thursdays -- seasoning pine wood, apples, herbs drying, fish glue and varnish used by the fletcher, spices from overseas, dead rat in trap, venison, seaweed, wood shavings, litter of kittens, fleeces from the mountain sheep not yet sold, and the pungent smell of tar."

That is a lot of smell for one store-room.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

An Historic Moment

Quite obviously, this is big stuff, I mean I capitalized my title line.

Make note that I Melissa Nichole Barr, on the 15th day May, in the year 2009, around the time of 4:30pm, did officially and irrevocably mail in a manuscript to a publishing house.

What was I thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I now have four to six months to wait before I receive my first ever rejection letter!
The postage of said letter courteously paid for by the aspiring author as per the time honored tradition of publishing houses everywhere, simply put S.A.S.E. (self addressed stamped envelope)
I am so excited!
I am so nervous!
I am so stupid!
I want my manuscript back!!!

Sincerely considering hijacking a postal truck en route,

Monday, May 11, 2009

something I stumbled upon while reading

There is a sort of busy worm,
That will the fairest book deform.
Their tasteless tooth will tear and taint
The poet, patriot, sage or saint,
Nor sparing wit nor learning.
Now, if you'd know the reason why,
The best of reasons I'll supply:
'Tis bread to the poor vermin.
~J Doraston, quoted by W. Blades, Taken from Inkheart

Thursday, May 7, 2009

finish reading

Last night a group of cops came into the hospital and started shooting people. Dozen died. Finally when things calmed down I was able to figure out that it was a retaliation shooting, because one of their officers had been shot outside.

I went out to investigate.

Zachery Steinbrook was looking like a good suspect because he was standing there with an assault rifle.

Then Brittney Brander came up and confessed.

The police didn't believe me.

Finally they believed her.

They placed her under arrest.

But nobody seemed to be taking this very serious.

She refused to stick around and kept escaping.

The police refused to chase her.

Mom and Dad bought her a puppy to try to get her to sit still.

She let the puppy go and took off.

I chased her.

And then -- somewhere in the midst of me trying to convey the damage she had done by shooting the officer, that dozens of people were now dead, and her only excuse was that he had been bugging her -- I woke up.

Not a happy person.\

Brittney stay out of my dreams.

You to Zach.

And for Pete's sake, I'm at work enough, I don't want to be there in my dreams!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


No not the movie or book. Or the time of day. More the concept.

I was reading John chapter 3 in my devotions this morning, and a particular verse struck me. (Don't worry I'll recover, only minor injuries.)

Verse 19 says, "And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil."

I was trying to think critically, you know, really apply the verse in some way, and I thought this would be one of those verses that you point out to non-believers. "Here's what your doing wrong. You don't want to learn to do any better, because your in love with sin." That seemed to work, until I thought of twilight.

We've all heard a lot about Christians, walking in the light, but sometimes I think that we're walking in the twilight. We get just enough light to see where we're going. To distinguish us from the heathen. And then we take the rest on an, if-I-don't-know-its-wrong-I-won't-feel-guilt scale. Grow, but not to much. Live in the light but not the spotlight. Despise the darkness, stick to the shadows. So many times I find myself living in that gray area, not sure if I really want to move forward.

I'm going to try to think on that for awhile, and we'll see what happens.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

an observation of hours

I have noticed, that when working 2nd shift there is a certain pattern to which the hours adhere.
You clock in at 3, and from then to 4 is over before you know it.
The hour between 4 and 5 goes fairly quickly. If its slow, your in for a long night.
Between 5 and 6 is a How's the night Hour, going mostly steady, but slow on a busy night.
6 to 7 is the second slowest hour of the shift, dragging on at a rate of five min per min.
7 to 8 picks up a bit more, plodding steadily
8 to 9 can go either way, but usually is slow.
9 to 10 is the slowest of all, sometimes I'm sure the clock actually stops, and this is a good time for work load to pick up.
10 to 11 flies by normally, mostly because of all the extra work that you picked up in the last hour. This ensures that you will have to stay over 11 to finish you work.
However, bar none, the absolute slowest time of the shift, is the 23 min after 11, the shift layover. the extra work that takes forever to finish, will have only taken up at most 11 min of your time, then you and the rest of your shift, will sit around and stare at each other for another half hour, before the clock flashes 11:23, the magic time you can clock out.

next weekend

So, I have next weekend off, and I really want to do something fun. You know, hang with the gang.
Does anybody have fun plans?
Anybody have an idea?
Anything? . . . .Anyone? . . . Hello out there. . .

Friday, May 1, 2009

groups of animals are called . . .

Geese on the ground are a gaggle.

Geese in the air are a skein.

Crows are a murder or a horde.

Ravens are an unkindness

Jays are a party or a scold.

Apes are a shrewdness.

Gorillas are a band.

Monkeys are a troop or a barrel.

Giraffes are a tower.

Goats are a tribe or a trip

Hippopotamuses are a bloat.

Kangaroos are a troop.

Leopards are a leap.

Tigers are a streak.

Lions are a pride.

Porcupines are a prickle.

Rhinoceroses are a crash.

Eagles are a convocation.

Owls are a Parliament.

Rooks are a building.

Frogs are an army.

Crocodiles are a bask.

Flies are a business.

Locust are a plague.


And now that you know all that, you are sure to benefit. For instance, you may find yourself inspired to write a poem on the beauty of a good business of flies. Or you may find your self able to casually slip, "oh look, a crash a rhinoceroses." into a conversation. Or nod sagaciously at the zoo and say, "oh yes, we have a fine prickle of porcupines here." However you may choose to use this information, I am sure that it will improve not only the quality of your speech, and raise the general opinion of your knowledge, it will inevitably enrich your life. You are most assuredly welcome.