Sunday, December 28, 2008

Excerpt

I've been working on a children's poem for awhile . . . OK a long while. I tend to be a perfectionist when writing so if I can't get it perfect, I put it away until I have the time and patience to work on it again. Recently I have taken it back up to try to smooth out and finish it up. We'll see how it goes this time. But here's the first few stanzas for your casual perusing. Comments, criticism and compliments welcome. Jk about that last one. The story is suppose to be about how dragons began to breath fire.

Dragon Fire
*
A dragon from the icy peaks
Of winter mountains high
Awoke with cold
Shook his scales
And took off to the sky.
*
Flying high above the ground,
he saw the earth below,
Saw mountains, valleys,
Rocks and trees
All covered deep with snow.
*
Sitting on the highest ledge
For miles and miles around,
He held his breath
And strained his ears,
To listen for a sound.
*
But all along those snow-bound cliffs,
No breath could ere be heard,
No bubbling brooks
No whispering wind
Nor even one small bird.
*
The dragon then with practiced ease
Let out a roar of song,
A loud fierce tale of loneliness
The wind, then sang along.
*
From his breath rose icy death,
A sad song of lament
Of dragon woes, nobody knows,
And frozen years, long spent.
*
Then as the echos died away
He shook his scales of blue,
Spread wide his wings
And flew up high,
In search of places new.

1 comment:

That Girl In Switzerland said...

I have to say, cuz, that your meter is basically perfect - it's disgustingly perfect, actually. Perhaps if I put as much time into my poetry as you do, mine would be as good...hmmm...just posted one on my blog, btw...but it's junk - spent five minutes writing it.

But yours is a great poem! You should have it published, or at least add it as a lay into the novel you'll no doubt write someday. :-)

Btw, typo in the fifth stanza...add a "d" to "practice." I'm positive that's what you meant.